Swan Song Sayonara

I leave Costa Rica Today with mixed emotions.... Excited to return to my life in Austin and sad to leave the life I started here behind. Another chapter in my book of life is closed, but not permanently. I will return to Costa Rica, I am sure of it. I just watched Francisco walk out the door for the last time this morning and I suddenly realized how final it all is.

I made a good go of it, professionally and personally. I made lifelong friends and met incredible people along the way. I saw this country�s finest and witnessed it�s unbearable side too. As all of the chapters in my life are, this was a huge learning experience. Living in depressed conditions in an underdeveloped country has made me appreciate even more the privileged life I come from. It will be much harder to take it for granted from here on out.

The preface for my new life chapter has already started. I�m gainfully employed, I have an action plan and most importantly, I have incredible friends and family to share my new adventures with.

I must say, given the sometimes trying circumstances, I made the absolute best out of this situation�That�s a gift of mine that I will never take for granted..

M,C,K & J at La Fortuna Waterfall

Bulk Bigotry

Thank you Wal-Mart for finally recognizing the fact that 75% of your customer base consists of uneducated, bigoted, tasteless, trailer-bound idiots who do not support equal rights for all citizens. Your agreement to cease your financial support for �extremely inappropriate and controversial� �causes� like the gay and lesbian population comes at a very opportune time, as the Holiday shopping season approaches. By giving into idle threats from the American Family Association, you have just empowered an organization that disguises their unabashed discrimination and hatred towards human beings through �religious� ideology and political scare tactics. Furthermore, you have allowed these people to manipulate and threaten you to gain much needed media traction and further their hate filled cause. The only real legitimacy this organization garnishes is from the mainstream press who help breathe life into their desperate need for public face time. They played you like the plastic fiddles made in Taiwan you buy in bulk.

I would call for a counter-boycott of your stores from the gay population, but our personal style and taste level keeps us all far from your doors. We stopped buying clapboard furniture and poorly designed home accoutrements when our average household income ratio more than doubled over our straight, Middle American counterparts. If we must go discount, it will certainly be at Target; at least they merit product design, store cleanliness and a higher-class shopping experience all around.

I�m not sure how ignoring one of the most powerful consumer demos in existence plays into your business model. I guess you sell enough cheap crap to discount-worthy shoppers to keep the Walton family high on the Billionaires list, so it�s not really of concern. What I do know is that as long as you continue to yield to organizations that actively pursue the demotion of human beings due to their genetic disposition, you will remain as classless and uneducated as the majority of your customer base.

Living By The Gun...

To wrap up an already eventfull day, About 30 minutes ago I heard gunshots outside the walls of my house. I ran to the window (um, smart?) to find my security guard with his gun drawn towards the gate. My neighbors were just robbed and their maid was "kidnapped". The robbers took their jewelry and all the money they had in their house. Clearly their maid was in on the action. The bad thing is, this is the second time these people have been robbed in 6 months. Last time they came home to an empty house and another missing maid. Either these people have the worst taste in maids or their luck just ran out big time. Im not sure where the shots landed, but I can say thats the first time I have ever heard gunfire from the comfort of my own living room. Um, Check please....

Woah...Momma

We just had an earthquake...it lasted alomost 2 minutes. Now everyones standing outside waiting for the second one to come..evidentially they come in pairs. It wasnt violent, but more like a slow wave motion.. When the house moved I saw the daylight come in from the top of the wall where it meets the ceiling...That was my express invitation to leave the premisis immediatly.


A few weeks ago there was another one that broke a water main near my house...I could see the water shooting up over the roof of the house next door..must have been 35 ft in the air. Below:

Simp-son-of-a-bitch

THIS has got to be the most tasteless, insensitive, disgusting thing I have ever read. O.J Simpson is obviously in desperate need of attention and has decided to flaunt his legal immunity in the US public�s face and �hypothetically� describe how he would have killed his Ex-Wife and her friend back in 1994. In an even more atrocious move, Fox will air a 2 part interview on the subject with the murderer next week (Thanksgiving Week). The panoptic disregard for the victim�s families is beyond mind-boggling. For me it seriously calls into question the media�s ability to separate the rat race for ratings and common decency and decorum. If bad judgment were a crime, Fox would be as guilty as O.J is.

I hope Mr. Simpson is stashing away some of the 3.5 million dollars he was advanced for the book to help pay for his condo in hell.

Cure for the rainy day blues...

I just got back from the gym and while I was there I rediscovered this song buried deep in my ipod....There's little a bad ass black woman with a big voice can't fix.... Faith Evans (AKA Miss Ex Biggy Smalls) bringing it down with 'Mesmerized'....

Rains Supreme

Costa Rica has 2 distinct yearly seasons the Summer and Rainy Seasons. A few years ago the Costa Rican Travel and Tourism Board cleverly renamed �Rainy Season� to the more tourist-friendly �Green Season�. It not a stretch really, when buckets of tropical rain gets dumped on a mineral rich landscape for 3-5 hours everyday, things will defiantly turn green. What they don�t explain is the effects the constant rain and gloomy weather have on things like traffic, roads, physical fitness regimes and mental well-being. The rainy season lasts from around June- November. This year, the season was extremely mild for the most part, but it seems like it making up for itself these last few weeks. It has been grey and rainy all day for weeks and it�s now starting to affect my psyche. There is actually a medically recognized condition called Seasonal Affective Disorder that directly relates the lack of sunlight to certain forms of depression. I�m sure, like ADD, there are plenty of doctors who would disagree with it, but I can tell you it�s true. Sitting inside my house and starring at the white blurr that has replaced my incredible valley view isn�t exactly an uplifting experience. The days here start at 4:45am and end promptly around 5pm. So everyday, as it rains, it also gets dark at 4:30-45ish in the afternoon. Watching Oprah isn�t even a daytime experience anymore, she comes on at 5pm local now. How depressing is that?

Home Sweet Dump

So since I�m relocating back to Austin in 2.5 weeks I have been scouring craigslist and realtor.com for both temporary rentals and homes for purchase in an attempt to secure a roof over my head; More importantly a space for all of my newly acquired furniture that will be traveling back with me overseas. I have come to the conclusion that 50% of all realtors are bait and switch professionals who will lie to you even when the truth sounds better. I have emailed 6 different realtors to inqure about specific properties they have posted only to find that the properties were �just rented� or �under contract�. Several of the posts I answered hadn�t even been live for 5 minutes. Hardly enough time for a rental/purchase contract to be drawn up and signed. They clearly posted old �desirable� properties in �hot areas� to entice inquiries. Of course after being told that the properties aren�t available, the sales pitch begins.

Realtor: �Ive got several other properties you might be interested in�
Eyeque: � I want something identical to the property I originally inquired about�
Eyeque: �Where in town are the other places you have? �
Realtor: �Well they are all over town�
Eyeque: �I�m only interested in properties located in Central Austin�
Realtor: �Well I do have two great places in Cedar Park�
EyeQue: �Cedar Park is 30-45 minutes north/west of town depending on traffic�
Realtor: �Well there going to run a commuter rail out there�
EyeQue � Really? When? �
Realtor: �5-8 years�
EyeQue: �Ok thanks for your time (you BEEP, BEEP , mother BEEP BEEPhole�

I�m fighting an uphill battle in Austin, and here�s why.

1. It�s a college town, so rental property owners gear their rental costs to college kids who will stack themselves 10 deep in a 4 bedroom. So it doesn�t become outrageous to ask for $5000 a month rent for a shitty, unkept, outdated home that has no driveway or green grass or air conditioning.

2. Single renters are snubbed out of the �professional, desirable� areas because A-hole property speculators have snapped up all of the smaller homes, torn them down and built McMansions on them that rent/sell to family�s of 6 for 8-10K a month.

3. The �keep Austin weird� vibe has all but ruined most apartment building in central Austin. Young, upwardly mobile professionals don�t really care to live next to Star and Moonbeam and their hyperponic pot growing pastime. The patchouli oil and incense all but ruins any Champagne wishes and Pottery Barn dreams that you might have for yourself.

4. I�m an architectural snob. I don�t like �cookie cutter� apartment/condo buildings. The 80�s/90�s shotgun apartment approach is about as desirable to me as a white baby is to Madonna. Stock cabinets, laminate flooring and hotel air conditioning units ruin any feelings of uniqueness and comfort.

5. Post Properties, Amli and Gables have all built �loft� residences downtown. Should I feel comfortable dropping $2200 per month for a 1 bedroom loft unit that comes with one free parking space? That seems like a financial sinkhole to me.

I fully believe the Real estate market is cyclical. I know that property prices and values are going to come down, because they can�t get any more ridiculous than they already are. I�m just realizing that as a single man with one source of income my options for finding a home that suits me and my lifestyle are extremely limited and possibly non-existent. I�m going to have to accept the fact that unless I double my income, buying a home that I like will be a near impossibility.

This Debbie Downer post has been brought to you today by HUD. Helping less fortunate, less responsible, less wealthy, less employed, less white people buy their dream homes everyday.

Re-Invented

I was an INXS fan back in the late 80's/ early 90's before Michael Hutchence offed himself unexpecetedly. I recently got the "new" INXS album featuring their new frontman J.D. Fortune. Evidentially he won some sort of reality show contest and become the new lead singer. I dig his vocals and this song.

Going...Going.....

One farewell dinner down�several more to go. The good-bye�s have begun here in Costa Rica as the team I�ve been working with slowly disbands and relocates their lives back to the United States. My boss and his lovely wife leave on a jet plane tomorrow morning to begin the next chapter in their lives. I mention them specifically as they were both integral in making this opportunity a reality for me. Kerri provided many services to the company including recruiter, relocation specialist and the distribution of general fabulousness. Scott glued together the Marketing team and helped buffer the never ending organizational chaos from me and my colleagues. We had dinner at my house and enjoyed each others company for one last time here in Costa Rica. I know I�ll see them both again, and probably very soon. They have temporarily moved to Dallas and I�m a sucker for that town. The combination of hairspray, cowboy boots and attitude always provides a memorable experience thats usually accompanied by a nasty hangover.

Until we meet again: Do videnja�Aloha k�kou�Ciao!

1:44:38

So today I find out what (if any) my involvement with my company will be after the major corporate restructuring that�s been occuring over the last month. All indications are that big changes are taking place from the top levels down. We have already received one �resignation announcement� from the Director of Marketing of our parent (public) company this morning, so clearly today has been earmarked as D-Day.

I�m sure given my title, my job here in serious Jeopardy. While I have mixed feelings about that I feel confident that the company will do the right thing in regards to contract/severance buy-outs. Knowing there is still over 100 million dollars in the bank, I�ll have a hard time stomaching a stingy deal.

I�m anxious as hell..but glad that after today I will be able to sleep knowing what my professional destiny is�My personal life here in central Amercia�well that�s a bit more complicated.

There and Back Again....

I welcomed Francisco back into my life last night. I have no idea if this is a good thing or not. What I do know is that when I saw him for the first time in 20 days, I felt something that I didn�t expect. I explained why I broke things off, he explained why he couldn�t speak to me for 3 weeks. In the end, we both realized that our time together is limited and we both deserve to enjoy what we have as long as we can. I watched him as he fell asleep in my arms and enjoyed that perfect moment. Sometimes we make choices that don�t make any sense on paper, but play out beautifully in real life.

Feeling Normal

When you find yourself living abroad, especially in a place like Costa Rica, you will soon come to realize that reminders of home go a long way. These reminders start out pretty small. Movies in English, familiar products in the grocery store, and they grow over time to larger things like Lunch at the fancy Marriott and visits to EPA (the Costa Rican equivalent of Home depot.) Wal-Mart has just broken ground in several locations throughout San Jose, so I�m sure once completed that too will become a haven of normalcy for the ExPats. While things here are drastically different from what Im used to in the States, the longer im here the more normal things seem. Waiting in lines everywhere, livestock and children in the roads, horrendous drivers, the rain, all of these things have become part of my daily routine. I have my �people� here too. The guy who pumps my gas, the grocery clerk who packs my car and the girl who checks me out at my favorite discount store. They now all recognize me and it makes me feel more at home here. My security guard Ramon, my maid Lorrena and our driver Christian complete the �welcome home� trifecta. All of these people and places provide a sense of belonging for me here in Central America.

As October 31st approaches and my professional engagement here hangs in the balance, I feel conflicted about potentially leaving this all behind so soon. On one hand, im looking forward to rediscovering my fantastic life in the States, but on the other, I feel like I�ve just now found my groove here in Costa Rica. This whole experience was meant to serve as my swan song. That one final �crazy� opportunity taken before pushing my professional and personal life to a new, more permanent level. I don�t think im ready to throw in the towel just yet. Of course none of this is up to me at this point.

Whatever the outcome on Tuesday, I�m glad I took this opportunity. I have learned a great deal about myself and I�ve grown professionally as well. The people I work with and the ones I have met here along the way are all fantastic and unique in their own ways. Our shared experiences here will impact our lives forever and if that�s all I leave with Im still coming out ahead.

Life as I know it...

Costa Rican Days
My empty Office


Costa Rican Nights
Ivonne, Kim and Jason at Living

Self-Aggrandizing A-Hole gets his 15

In case you havent seen this. This guy submitted this video along with an 11-page resume to several Wall Street Investment firms after he graduated from Yale in an attempt to get a job. Instead he has become the laughing stock of Wall Street and now the internet in general, and for good reason. What a complete tool...

Eternal Nightime of the Spotless Mind

I think im suffering from a temporary anxiety disorder.. I can�t sleep..and when I do I dream of strange things like Spiders in my pillowcases and eating Dim Sum in Chinatown with Madonna and her black baby. While im not worried about my well being in general, the effects of sitting in a professional holding pattern in a foreign country seem to be manifesting themselves nightly during the REM stage. Since all my work has been put on hold, I�ve been trying to organize my life in various ways. I signed Francisco�s walking papers, I donated a bunch of clothes to the local church mission, I got an international move quote, and activated my professional network back in the States. I�d rather be a step ahead in the process if I find out on Tuesday that the company is moving forward without the North American team.

Keeping the worst case scenario in mind�. the financial liability of shutting down my life here in Central America, moving and restarting things back in Texas could be sizable. I will lose thousands of dollars in housing costs/deposits, I�ll have to pay for an international move, Ill be made ineligible for the foreign earned income tax credit which will amount to tens of thousands of dollars in income taxes owed to the US, I have to buy a new car, find a new home, and of course secure a new gig to help pay for all of the above.

If a downsize is imminent, I hope my company does the responsible thing and properly compensates the employees affected. In my opinion international work contracts come with a social responsibility to care for the employees who uprooted their lives to serve the company�s best interests abroad. While no one could have foreseen the events that transpired that put our jobs in jeopardy, cutting us lose and not properly compensating us would just be in poor taste. I�m not sure how far matters of couth go in a public company with a billion dollar bottom line at stake but I�m about to find out in cinco dias

Speak Softly and Carry A Big Shoe

It's 1 am and im sequestered in my guest bedroom because I left the door that leads to the backyard open and a spider the size of Magic Johnsons hand got inside. I wouldnt have even seen it except I heard a hissing sound and spotted it on the wall behind my bed just as I was dozing off. I unsucessfully attempted to smash it with a library of magazines that were tossed from a safe distance from the other side of the room. Of course all that did was 1. Piss it off and 2. Forced it to drop to the floor behind my bed. So now I have no idea where it is and im not about to go to sleep in a room with a big ass Costa Rican death fang spider who now has a score to settle. Quite frankly I probably wont go back into my room for a few days until I know it's run out of food and water and lying on it's overdue deathbed. Im so dedicated to this cause that I'll wear what I have on until that happens.

There are "hemp" ,"poly-blend" and "egyptian cotton" people in this world. I'm definately the latter. I dont do "rustic", or "primitave" and if theres the posibility of an insect/rodent/reptile encounter, well you can count me out. Im not sure how all this will play out on the African Safari I want to take. I think Abercrombie and Kent have some packages that include an army of people whose jobs are to kill insect and wildlife that threaten your $2500 a night comfort. Even then, I would request a nightly sweep of my tent for anything non-luxurious and otherwise uninvited. Picture: Joan Collins on Safari.

Clearly I dont belong in Costa Rica. Everything here is big, hairy, mean, scary and venomous. Even the plants here look like they could eat a small child. Until I leave, I will continue to wage my war with the outside. Hoping that one day the word will get out that the only way outta my house is on the bottom of a shoe.

The Situation is as follows:

I am still sitting here with my thumb up my ass waiting for my company to restructure and mobilize itself after a major legal blow that was delivered courtesy of the United States Government a little over 2 weeks ago. All of our work has been grinded to a halt and we literally have nothing to do until we are given more direction from the big office in the sky (London). Plans have been promised by Oct 31. We have watched several of our competitors crumble under the new legislation while scrambling to find (and monetize) new markets. Of course we are all hoping this isn�t an indication of things to come on our end, but you can�t help but to think about it. I�ve had many people ask me what I think is going to happen and I�ve always supplied a suitable prediction based on the information I had to date. I�m no longer speculating about it, just when it seems I�ve got it figured out, I hear something that makes me think differently. Its extremely difficult working for a multi-national company whose key decision makers are spread across 3 continents. Getting accurate, up-to-date information across multiple time zones is never easy. Given all of the uncertainties, my colleagues and I are handling it all pretty well I think. We do have our freak out moments, but there�s comfort in numbers. The handful of us whose fates are all hanging in the balance are all well adjusted professionals who know were covered if we are forced to leave these jobs. Until then, none of us are complaining about continuously receiving our paychecks.

Because change begets change, there seems to be a lot of it going on in my life at the moment. Exactly one week ago I sent Francisco back home to live with his sister on the other side of town. This was all in an attempt to deemphasize the comfort zone my being here creates for him. While he was not �officially� living with me, the time he spent in my house greatly outnumbered the times that he did not. Contemplating a premature departure from Costa Rica is difficult enough; simultaneously feeling responsible for a 27 year old �kid� whose world revolves around me proved to be just too much. In typical Tico/Latin-machismo fashion, he took it completely the wrong way, feeling ousted and uncared for. We have not spoken one word since he left and I know unless I contact him, we won�t ever again. I miss having him here but I know until things shake out at work, I�ts better for him not to count on me emotionally (and physically)

Because Im never down and out for long� I have accomplished the following things since breaking things off with Francisco.

1. Got forced into a kiss with a straight German guy in a bathroom stall at my favorite bar.
2. I had a date with a Columbian guy named Gustavo who left Columbia for reasons he purposely didn�t expand on.
3. Re invigorated my personal ad and contacting prospective as we speak.

As you ALL should know by now�The best way to get over an ex is to get under another one!

Dont tell your momma I told you this...

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Baby Steps

Im not much of an activist, espicially when it comes to voicing my opinions about my sexuality. I ran across this article on the CNN homepage this morning during my daily news scan and couldnt help but to give CNN a bit of an applause. Instead of trying to talk around, explain away, demoralize, or play down Gerry Studds relationship with his partner, they refer to him as his "husband". Something you rarely see or hear in the media. The media's willingness to stop sensationalizing gay lifestyles by focusing on the actions of its fringe elements will help lead to better understanding and overall acceptance of gay people all over the world. Of course the gay community has alot of work to do as well. People are prompted to discriminate when you hand them reasons to.

BOSTON, Massachusetts (AP) -- Former U.S. Rep. Gerry Studds, the first openly gay person elected to Congress, died early Saturday at Boston Medical Center, several days after he collapsed while walking his dog, his husband said.

Studds fell unconscious October 3 because of what doctors later determined was a blood clot in his lung, Dean Hara said.

Studds regained consciousness, remained in the hospital, and seemed to be improving. He was scheduled to be transferred to a rehabilitation center, but his condition deteriorated Friday and he died at about 1:30 a.m. Saturday, Hara said.

Hara, who married Studds shortly after gay marriage was legalized in Massachusetts in 2004, said Studds was a pioneer who gave courage to gay people everywhere by winning re-election after publicly acknowledging his homosexuality.

"He gave people of his generation, or my generation, of future generations, the courage to do whatever they wanted to do," he said.