I started this particlar blog back in 03 and had 10 or so posts that were full of cool stuff. I was suprised recently to see many of those posts deleted. I can't figure out what happened. Im not normally this technologically challenged, but the official relaunch has not been without its challenges.Im no stranger to journaling the happenings of my life. I kept a daily written journal for several intrigal years back in college. Most importantly, I journaled all through my 'coming-out-as-a-big-homo' period in the mid to late 90's. Sometimes I re-read it all for shits and giggles. I can't believe how "schoolgirl at a panty raid" I sound sometimes. Stuff like; I used to write down the names and information on guys I slept with. I put stars besides the ones I knew EXTREMELY well. Kinda like dotting all the "i"s with hearts. Im suprised I didnt keep it all in purple Trapper Keeper with unicorn stickers and my name in puffy paint on the cover. Of course there are also the obligatory "I've been dumped and my life will never be the same" entries too. Those are the best. Self esteem in the toilet always makes for extremely interesting reading.
Reading my old journals really made me realize how important having friends who know the real, WHOLE you is. When I was hiding a part of myself from the outside world, I wrote like a banshee. Once I came out and had friends who I could talk to, I stopped. Which brings me to this observation. If, in the past, I wrote because I couldn't speak these things to anyone? Why now, when I can speak freely, have I decided to blog?
