Monday, August 06, 2007

Missed Connections

Periodically I place bullshit missed connection ads on Craigslist for sport. For those of you who don’t know what a “missed connection ad” is, they are semi-personal ads placed by people who almost met someone they were interested in. Typically no exchange of words took place and often the “connection” is one sided. Nonetheless, at least one party is interested in meeting the other, and they live with high hopes that the objects of their affection will read their ad, realize it’s the ad is for them and then respond in kind. So yes, basically these should be renamed “Fear Of Rejection” Ads.

While my friends and I all openly chastise the people who actually place these ads for real, we all secretly visit the missed connection section everyday to see if someone’s left one for us. I recently dreamed up the following ad after a conversation with CR about what officially constitutes a “missed connection”. There seems to be some confusion among the posting public as to what a “missed connection” actually is. The general consensus is that both parties must acknowledge each other with extended eye contact, a suddle nod or some other quasi-action of endearment. There is also a circumference parameter that must be met, but this can vary depending on whether or not binoculars are present at both ends.

So I tested the waters, wrote a ridiculously vague and impossible ad and posted it yesterday.

Here it is:

(click to enlarge)

I'll have you know, to date I have recieved 12 responses to that ad from people who were driving on I35 yesterday and want to connect. Yes, so very sad but true. To the publics credit I recieved about as many clever BS responses from people who got the joke, but im still in shock and awe that there are that many desperados out there who would seriously respond to that.

Heres my next one.. if someone answers this im gonna have to arrange an in person consultation.


sam said...

I posted one for a married guy I was working with because I knew he read them all and was a total closet case. Turns out I was right!

Anonymous said...

Dear Suddle,
As a Southern boy, surely you were brought up to know the huge difference between being sarcastic, and being snide. One is fun after a couple drinks, the other is beneath the dignity of both you and the recipient.

Jason M said...

Dear not-s-Subtle.

Well one thing is for sure, you certainly are wise to the ways of true southern etiquette; You deliver your ‘opinions’ from behind a veil of anonymity, just like a deep south junior leaguer who wasn’t chosen to host the annual charity ball would. Thanks for your comments though.

Subtly Snide,


Cary said...

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.

And I love it.

Mark N. said...

Those are much funnier than the "goatse" surprise.

angel said...

I had a "friend" who used to post in the W4M section of CL, make arrangements to meet prospective dates, but describe herself in such a way as to be unrecognizable (she is short and Asian, she'd describe herself as a "leggy blond"). Then she'd show up and watch the guy, never telling him of her joke. Cruel? Yes. I often wondered if she'd go ahead and say hello if the guy turned out to be a stunner...or if the guys, sitting and waiting, ever met someone else...

dcmasshole said...

You go Incongnito. I always loved Southern Charm, but found it to be more of facade. The many times a Southern was nice to your face and then the very next minute talking behind your back. At least with those rude Northerners you know where you stand right away.

Thanks for the idea of posting funny MCs.