Friday, December 22, 2006

Memoirs of an Upgrader

I�m wondering if people agree with me that children under 16 should not be allowed to upgrade to first class on airplanes? I have had several flights lately where I have been joined by multiple children taking up desirable seats in the front of the plane thanks to their executive platinum millennium diamond flying parents. Luckily, I have not been displaced out of the premium class by any kids, but I see it coming soon. I watch all the other would-be upgraders walk by on their way to misery class and get very upset when they see a 3 year old sprawled out in the big seat wiping their shitty diapers all over the nice leather seats. I don�t blame them.

I�m not sure when the �kids belong everywhere� memo got sent out. It certainly wasn�t before I hit adulthood. It was always understood that there are certain places that children just don�t belong. Nice restaurants, bars, concerts and yes, first class on long flights. In fact, plane trips were not really much of option for us as kids. My parents knew better than to subject 250 other people to our consistent fighting and tantrums.

I think I�m going to send a letter to American Airlines suggesting a ban on adolescent upgraders. They need to do their time in the back of the plane like I did. Im off to catch my connection home..Im keeping my fingers crossed that I wont have to babysit along the way.

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