It's Electric.....

I wish I had something more profound to say today.. but this is all I got:

I stuck a Duracell AA battery in my mouth a little earlier and got shocked.

I should probably leave my office for a little bit...

Feeling alive...

This is my end-of-summer song. The one I roll down all of the windows for and open the sunroof and drive into the evening sun thinking about all the fun I had these past few months. I love the Fall, but there's nothing like a good summer...

COAL: Not just for stockings anymore!

Our latest scare tactic coal creative. Burn coal or suffer another 911.








Up Next: Using solar power is UnAmerican.



Here I go again, manipulating the political process one middle american at a time.....

ughhhh

Samantha Brown-noser

Tonight JH and I were pondering how THIS WOMAN got so lucky. She has the best job in the world. Travels worldwide, stays in fine hotels, eats great food, does cool touristy things and tells us all about it in a perfected uber-nerdy, slightly annoying kinda way. I bet she was a total band nerd in High School. Probably played the piccolo in the marching band and had an obvious crush on a studly trumpet player who was too busy dangling the color guard to notice her childish advances. She helped coordinate the yearly Anchor club quilt fundraiser and was most defiantly on the yearbook committee. She dated some Mathletes but ruined it quickly by over dramatizing everything. Pimply and braced-up teeth, she peg rolled her pleated, acid washed jeans and wore the soles off of at least 100 pairs of white Keds. The Friday night game for her consisted of ordering pizza and playing Pictionary with her gay best friend and various other fag hags. She was the slimmer, cuter of the D-list girls and usually had her pick of E to Z list boys. She never drank, smoked or cussed (out loud) and sex to her was an absolute sin. There was that time she and her main gay drank a wine cooler at a B-list party and got fake “drunk” before they got called out by the head cheerleader and shamed out of the party. Of course they went home alone and sang on her sister’s Barbie Karaoke machine all night in between prank phone calls and mirror kissing lessons. College came fast and in a matter of one semester she had gained 15 lbs, lost her virginity, had an on campus alcohol violation and successfully made the overweight limit at Kappa Delta. She stopped calling her mother every other day and decided that ‘Campus for Christ’ really wasn’t propelling her forward socially. She got wasted on the weekends, had a forced lesbian experience and finally blew that trumpet player from high school, all the while keeping her grades in check.. As her college career ended, she had undergone a complete metamorphosis and was ready to attack the job market finally without looking like a walking “Before” make-over candidate. She interned behind the camera (and under the desk) at a local news station where she met a camera man who had recently taken a job with the Travel channel. Said camera man introduced her to a producer who was casting a travel show that needed a perky, socially underdeveloped, awkwardly amusing woman for a host… and the rest, they say…is television history.

Popcorn PSA

Do youself a favor and NEVER burn microwave popcorn. I did just that 4 days ago and the smell is still lingerning all over my house. Apparently this problem isnt unique to me. I think im going to have to get a new microwave.

Damn...

Keeping up with the Joneses

So RS and I accomplished another item on the list of 1000 Gay things you must do before you die on Friday night. We bought $10 dollar tickets to the Shirley Jones concert and retrospective at the Riverbend Church Center here in A-town.. I must admit, I knew next to nothing about the woman before going in, but was pleasantly surprised by her repertoire. Sure she donned the world’s ugliest haircut and matriarched the partridge family back in the 70’s, but long before that her career was chocked full of theatre, musicals, movies not to mention years of terrible personal style and wardrobe choices. Friday was no exception. Her drag-inspired sequined disaster dresses and grandma singing voice begged that question “who told her this was a good idea?” But the ‘Oklahoma’ and ‘Music Man’ tunes towards the end made it all worth our while. I think even armchair quarterbacks would admit that the Music Man is one of the best movie musicals ever written.

Shirley brought the pews down and had the crowd screaming halleluiah Jesus and im glad I was there to witness the bedazzled miracle first hand. Not many left like her.

On This Day In History

September 23, 1996

“….I followed Stacey, Ann and Lynn to a gay bar in Raleigh tonight called Legends. It was my first time going there or to a gay bar for that matter. I was so nervous I forced Stacey to hold my hand as we made our way through the crowd. She pulled me aside away from our friends and sat me down on a bar stool. She looked dead-on at me, tears were welling up in her eyes, I knew that she was about to say something important. While I have always known that she was gay, I never asked her about it out of respect for her feelings. I’m not sure if it was the environment we were in, or the fact she was so emotional about her coming out, but I responded back by telling her I was gay as well. Before I could stop myself, It came flowing out effortlessly. Realizing it was the first time I have ever uttered those words to anyone, a tear dropped from my right eye that carried with it 20 years of secrecy and shame. I hugged her neck and could feel our bond instantly grow stronger 10 fold. We danced together for the next 3 hours among the crowd, feeling like members of the flock.

Tonight I came out to another human being. Even as I write this I can’t believe it. I’m back in the dorm now, Ben is asleep with his trashy girlfriend 3 feet to my right and I am sitting over here a completely new person. If he only knew. ”

Taken from a journal I used to keep back when it was necessary.

Just scratching the surface

I really didn't pay much attention to this when it was first unveiled in May until today when my Microsoft rep sent me a huge file chocked full of all the cool things this thing can do. I found this video that explains the new "Surface" computer in layman's terms. Everything from Media sharing to splitting the bill at a restaurant will never be the same.... We will soon be visually managing our lives... Just Delicious!

Dangerous Liaisons

Here's a little long distance dedication to a good (married) friend of mine who's caught up in a scandalous affair with a man who is also married. While I think what shes doing is completely wrong, I must admit, her entire demeanor lights up when she speaks about him to me. I know eventually she'll do whats best for her (and her family), but for now, someone is loving her in the way she's always wanted for herself. As a friend, I will always support her in her quest to achieve a higher level of happiness. I am also compelled to remind her what the consequences of her actions will be if her house of cards comes crashing down anytime soon. I know from personal experience that once you have reached the place in your relationship where you seek emotional support from someone else, it's very hard to turn that back towards the partner you took it away from. It's not impossible to fix, but it takes some serious work on both parts. In my friends case, I know her husband isn't capable of devoting the kind of time and attention necessary to bring his marriage back on the right track if it ever comes to that.

Of course that and a buck fifty will get you a cup of coffee at Denny's.

She always tells me that she and the 'other' guy love eachother like it's their first time...and for obvious reasons I always think of her when I hear this song..

Next Stop...Financial Freedom

Do you hate the company you work for and need a cool million at the same time? Go here and report their software piracy and you can kill two birds with one stone.

Yes folks, thats 1 Million-whistle-blowing-dollars. Tell em I sen't ya..

It's come to this...

Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers is suing God for causing "calamitous catastrophes resulting in the wide-spread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants including innocent babes, infants, children, the aged and infirm without mercy or distinction.”.

Even though the Senator isn't being serious, I'll bet the 911 "victims families" and "katrina victims" are lawyering up anyway...That is if they can stop demanding handouts for one second.

Life goes on people.....

Rude Awakening

I’ve been fighting the urge to admit to myself that the Austin I loved and adored is all but lost to new high-rise condo construction, a massive influx of people and the demolition of the city infrastructure that I had grown to love. After encountering a satellite parking lot, shuttle bus ride and an hour plus wait at The Oasis last night, there’s no more denying it. The Austin that first greeted me in 1999 has all but disappeared. What’s replaced it is poorly constructed ‘high end’ developments, tens of thousands of tasteless nuevo riche West coasters, unreachable real estate prices, Katrican’s and a rising crime rate.

For years Austin was a sleepy college town that only hosted the state government and a few early adopters. Most Texans were too busy jockeying for position in Houston and Dallas to care about this hill country city in the center of the state. The University of Texas gathered hippies and other nardowells from all over the country and most of them stayed in Austin and opened head shops and organic businesses that needed very little to sustain themselves. Downtown consisted of a few scattered office buildings, no retail and very few restaurants. There was no such thing as paid parking anywhere and Austinite’s balked at a 15-minute wait at a restaurant or the Post Office. The old-timers enjoyed beautiful weather, tons of green space, lakes and a bottom-of-the-barrel cost of living. It was a lifestyle that most would envy.

The first hint of real change happened around 2000 when Austin became one of the start-up/dot.bomb epicenters of the universe. At one time there were over 150 VC funded start-up internet companies happening here and that’s when I joined the ranks. I remember people complaining about the “change” then, although it paled in comparison to whats going on today. Tons of dot com “thousandaires” popped up around town and the cost-of-living jumped from next to nothing to somewhat reasonable almost overnight.

Best I can gather, somewhere between 2002-2005 Austin suddenly became a prime Target for the Northern Californian transplants. They had already devoured (and ruined) Portland, Seattle and Denver and finally found their way south to Austin. Austin’s mild climate and topography are very familiar to those folks, that coupled with the high-tech focused industry here sealed Austin’s fate as the next city on the list on their destruction tour of the US. I have heard estimates that over 100 Californians are moving here every day which is almost unbelievable. But it becomes all too real when you visit restaurants whose parking lots are packed with oversized SUV’s with California license plates or when you sniff around the real estate market and realize you can’t buy anything inhabitable in town for under 500K.

The question becomes; Do you acclimate to the city that Austin has become and fight the good fight or do you look for another mid-large size town to start-up in again? It’s not fair to think that I should be forced to abandon the place that I love and leave everything I’ve built here behind because the new comers have pushed the city into a millennium that ignores a good majority of it’s inhabitants (including myself). I don’t think I could ever leave, even if Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes mayor, Kaballah was mandatory and my neighborhood was renamed Bellaire east. The underlying principles that make Austin special to me will always be there. I may have to peel back the layers but I know under the granite substitute and stainless steel fronts it’s still there.
I have 1 special place here in the city that I go to when I need to experience the ‘old’ Austin I fell in love with all those years ago. Luckily, it has remained untouched since I first discovered it. I wont tell you where it is, but know that I’m probably there if my cars not in the drive and im not answering my phone.

Walkin' and Talkin'

As I mentioned in a previous post I'm in Houston this week for a speaking engagement at the PSRA conference. After having spoken at several events in the past I realized tonight as I was preparing my slides that I've got this down pat, no problem. I remember getting all fluttery and nervous in the past the night before speaking; scurrying to pull together my comments and slap together a presentation that made sense. It took a couple of times before I realized that my talks are much more successful when I partially 'wing it' rather than work directly from a PowerPoint outline. I actually know this stuff and I don't need to write it down. I still haven't overcome my 'over-speaking' problem, which always rears it's ugly head when I'm slightly nervous. I will go into deep detail on topics rather than giving a brief, effective overview and moving on. I have always overcompensated in uncomfortable situations with excessive talk, some call it a gift, I call it a social band-aid. Sometimes I get ahead of myself, forget to breathe and then my voice box gets jittery, which doesn't look good in front of 2500 people. I asked a media coach about it and he gave me some tips on breathing techniques to use during my talk that seem to combat that problem...he also suggested a shot of whiskey before I go on, so I took his comments with a grain of salt.

I'm actually going to get to bed at a decent hour tonight. I returned to my room from dinner to find another goodnight note accompanied with a Wonder Woman PEZ candy dispenser (Walk on sister!) on my pillow from the Hotel. Ill probably take that along tomorrow for good luck. I will use her deflecting wristbands to thwart any overly complicated questions that might arise from the audience? Oh and , the sugar rush will certainly calm any nerves I might have.

Aging Up

2 things happened to me this past weekend that abruptly reminded me of my age.

1. CR literally drug me out to a party on Saturday night. He didn’t tell me until the very last minute that it was an 80’s party and the median age there would be, well, um…23. I’m still hoping that the sprinkled cupcakes, balloons and cheap liquor in plastic bottles were all part of the kitch. The music was spot on, we lip synced Pat Benetar, watched Blair’s retarded cousin visit the facts of life girls and had periodic deep discussions with the ’kids’ about all things 80’s. One dapper young man in particular mentioned that he was born in 1987 and he had to do some online research on the 80’s to figure out how to dress appropriately. At that very moment I snatched the drink out of CR’s hand and we promptly left the party. Dignity partially in tact.


2. I watched the train wreck that was the MTV video Music Awards. Britney’s lackluster performance helped set the stage for the rest of the pathetic show. I officially realized on Sunday that I have outgrown MTV and that’s a pretty big deal. I didn’t get the jokes (or they just weren’t funny), I didn’t get the ‘presenters’, evidently Rap and R&B have officially taken over popular music as we know it, and the production value sent my ADD into overdrive.

I guess I can’t hang in “The Hills” anymore, or “Next” any more bad dates…But I can and will continue to blast Pat Benetar songs and have Flashdance shower moments….I’ve been a fan since the beginning and that’s something this sad new generation can’t claim.

“We are young, heartache to heartache we stand, No promises no demands….”

Unchained in Houston.

Ya'll know I love a good hotel...and because I like to spread the love, I have to recommend Hotel ZaZa in Houston. I arrived here just today and I'm already a fan. As if the over the top fashonista decor, music piped into every corner and beautiful clientele isn't enough, housekeeping just delivered some delicious fruit sushi to my room along with an edible note wishing me sweet dreams.

Of course by staying here for the week I'm not earning any big chain reward points; But id rather sleep in an overstuffed, under lit, claw footed bed, watch a 50 Inch LCD TV affixed to a mirrored wall, enjoy Bulgari toiletries and get sweet nightly surprises from the staff any day. Can you blame a guy?

Kawobunga Rarotonga

We have managed to squeeze a 4-day trip to Rarotonga into our Australia/New Zealand trip itinerary this Christmas. Rarotonga is an extremely remote destination in the Cook Islands just past Tahiti in the South Pacific. All accounts indicate that we may have stumbled upon Paradise on earth. Very few people visit there and as a result it's unspoiled and extremely economical. We are renting a bungalow on the ocean and will enjoy being the last people on earth to celebrate New Years Eve 2007 as it lies just before the international date line waaaay out in the south pacific. I can't think of a better way to celebrate. Rarotonga Yall!

Factoids:

1. They use a 3 dollar bill

2. Survivor was filmed there in 2004

3. 9,000 people live there now, and the population is shrinking.

4. Homosexuality is viewed as a natural way of life, as it is in most of Polynesia.

5. Cell phone service was non existant until 2005

I am worthy

My Starbucks guy intimidates the hell out of me. I stop by every morning on my way to work for my Grande Non Fat Vanilla Latte (with an extra shot if im tired) and the this-Isn’t-my-real-job guy with smart glasses who takes my order snarls at my coffee choice like I’ve just ordered a Boones farm on the rocks. I always feel really stupid and common after I leave.

I guess in the Starbucks drink ordering strata im not really high on the list. I think that’s reserved for the soy chi-latte and extra black coffee crowd. I just wish I didn’t get so ferclemped every time I step inside those doors and approach the counter. He stares at me, never says hello and barks my order to the barista, rarely ever making contact. I’m kind of attracted to him in a this-is-my-nerdy-boyfriend-whose-going-to-save-the-spotted-salamander way. He has sandy brown hair that shags in his face, but thankfully not in a Zach Effron kinda way. He wears dark rimmed square cut glasses and just seems really smart. Id prefer to believe he’s a PHD student working on his thesis about the Environmental impact of coffee processing water runoff, although im pretty sure he’s just an Austin band slacker. Very few people effect me like this guy does, and I don’t even know his name.

In an effort to get in his good coffee graces, Im going to start some small talk tomorrow. Maybe ill ask what he prefers to drink and try that instead of my usual. Maybe then he’ll see that im not just some tragically preppy commoner who climbs out of his big car and comes to Starbucks because it’s slightly in vogue.

Fish Bowl....

Who knew they have toilets in the middle of the bay......

And Charlie isn't afraid to use it...

Beachin it

Down 1, but still kickin it OBX style.



My McMansion in the sand

CR gettin situated and lookin pretty

KV giving face

MY OBX in BnW

Everyone has a special place. Mine is my family's beach house on the Outer Banks NC. I'm sharing it with 3 special friends for the next few days. Every time I'm here, I realize how lucky I am to be able to enjoy such a wonderful place. I love it when my worlds collide. My old life and my new one. That's how I feel when I bring friends out here. Every night when the harvest moon rises over the ocean I think about the memories we are creating here. Ones we will breath to life into again and again when the need arises..



Barely Reaching...



Dune at Dusk


Home away from home


My Secret Window