My Starbucks guy intimidates the hell out of me. I stop by every morning on my way to work for my Grande Non Fat Vanilla Latte (with an extra shot if im tired) and the this-Isn’t-my-real-job guy with smart glasses who takes my order snarls at my coffee choice like I’ve just ordered a Boones farm on the rocks. I always feel really stupid and common after I leave.
I guess in the Starbucks drink ordering strata im not really high on the list. I think that’s reserved for the soy chi-latte and extra black coffee crowd. I just wish I didn’t get so ferclemped every time I step inside those doors and approach the counter. He stares at me, never says hello and barks my order to the barista, rarely ever making contact. I’m kind of attracted to him in a this-is-my-nerdy-boyfriend-whose-going-to-save-the-spotted-salamander way. He has sandy brown hair that shags in his face, but thankfully not in a Zach Effron kinda way. He wears dark rimmed square cut glasses and just seems really smart. Id prefer to believe he’s a PHD student working on his thesis about the Environmental impact of coffee processing water runoff, although im pretty sure he’s just an Austin band slacker. Very few people effect me like this guy does, and I don’t even know his name.
In an effort to get in his good coffee graces, Im going to start some small talk tomorrow. Maybe ill ask what he prefers to drink and try that instead of my usual. Maybe then he’ll see that im not just some tragically preppy commoner who climbs out of his big car and comes to Starbucks because it’s slightly in vogue.
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4 comments:
Sometimes Starbucks coffee gives me explosive diarrhea. Is that relevant to this story?
Maybe you should post a "missed connection" for him.
maybe its your car. Try borrowing your neighbor's pick up truck and then going in.
Try brewing your own at home before leaving for work...saves time, money, and in your case, embarressment and heartburn.
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