September 23, 1996“….I followed Stacey, Ann and Lynn to a gay bar in Raleigh tonight called Legends. It was my first time going there or to a gay bar for that matter. I was so nervous I forced Stacey to hold my hand as we made our way through the crowd. She pulled me aside away from our friends and sat me down on a bar stool. She looked dead-on at me, tears were welling up in her eyes, I knew that she was about to say something important. While I have always known that she was gay, I never asked her about it out of respect for her feelings. I’m not sure if it was the environment we were in, or the fact she was so emotional about her coming out, but I responded back by telling her I was gay as well. Before I could stop myself, It came flowing out effortlessly. Realizing it was the first time I have ever uttered those words to anyone, a tear dropped from my right eye that carried with it 20 years of secrecy and shame. I hugged her neck and could feel our bond instantly grow stronger 10 fold. We danced together for the next 3 hours among the crowd, feeling like members of the flock.
Tonight I came out to another human being. Even as I write this I can’t believe it. I’m back in the dorm now, Ben is asleep with his trashy girlfriend 3 feet to my right and I am sitting over here a completely new person. If he only knew. ”
Taken from a journal I used to keep back when it was necessary.
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