Home Sweet Dump

So since I�m relocating back to Austin in 2.5 weeks I have been scouring craigslist and realtor.com for both temporary rentals and homes for purchase in an attempt to secure a roof over my head; More importantly a space for all of my newly acquired furniture that will be traveling back with me overseas. I have come to the conclusion that 50% of all realtors are bait and switch professionals who will lie to you even when the truth sounds better. I have emailed 6 different realtors to inqure about specific properties they have posted only to find that the properties were �just rented� or �under contract�. Several of the posts I answered hadn�t even been live for 5 minutes. Hardly enough time for a rental/purchase contract to be drawn up and signed. They clearly posted old �desirable� properties in �hot areas� to entice inquiries. Of course after being told that the properties aren�t available, the sales pitch begins.

Realtor: �Ive got several other properties you might be interested in�
Eyeque: � I want something identical to the property I originally inquired about�
Eyeque: �Where in town are the other places you have? �
Realtor: �Well they are all over town�
Eyeque: �I�m only interested in properties located in Central Austin�
Realtor: �Well I do have two great places in Cedar Park�
EyeQue: �Cedar Park is 30-45 minutes north/west of town depending on traffic�
Realtor: �Well there going to run a commuter rail out there�
EyeQue � Really? When? �
Realtor: �5-8 years�
EyeQue: �Ok thanks for your time (you BEEP, BEEP , mother BEEP BEEPhole�

I�m fighting an uphill battle in Austin, and here�s why.

1. It�s a college town, so rental property owners gear their rental costs to college kids who will stack themselves 10 deep in a 4 bedroom. So it doesn�t become outrageous to ask for $5000 a month rent for a shitty, unkept, outdated home that has no driveway or green grass or air conditioning.

2. Single renters are snubbed out of the �professional, desirable� areas because A-hole property speculators have snapped up all of the smaller homes, torn them down and built McMansions on them that rent/sell to family�s of 6 for 8-10K a month.

3. The �keep Austin weird� vibe has all but ruined most apartment building in central Austin. Young, upwardly mobile professionals don�t really care to live next to Star and Moonbeam and their hyperponic pot growing pastime. The patchouli oil and incense all but ruins any Champagne wishes and Pottery Barn dreams that you might have for yourself.

4. I�m an architectural snob. I don�t like �cookie cutter� apartment/condo buildings. The 80�s/90�s shotgun apartment approach is about as desirable to me as a white baby is to Madonna. Stock cabinets, laminate flooring and hotel air conditioning units ruin any feelings of uniqueness and comfort.

5. Post Properties, Amli and Gables have all built �loft� residences downtown. Should I feel comfortable dropping $2200 per month for a 1 bedroom loft unit that comes with one free parking space? That seems like a financial sinkhole to me.

I fully believe the Real estate market is cyclical. I know that property prices and values are going to come down, because they can�t get any more ridiculous than they already are. I�m just realizing that as a single man with one source of income my options for finding a home that suits me and my lifestyle are extremely limited and possibly non-existent. I�m going to have to accept the fact that unless I double my income, buying a home that I like will be a near impossibility.

This Debbie Downer post has been brought to you today by HUD. Helping less fortunate, less responsible, less wealthy, less employed, less white people buy their dream homes everyday.