Porn Stars, Midgets and a Million Dollars

Vegas is out of control. Of course I already knew that, but my involvement with this town has always been limited to some sort of work event. Last night, however, was noteworthy. It started with Dinner hosted by my favorite media vixen, Miss Ashe. She invited me and any my select posse to The Venetian for incredible Italian, drinks and a whopping dose of her personality. Miss Ashe shows up with Ex Porn/Playboy Bunny Jill Ann Spaulding and her smack-your-momma-pretty assistant. Jill Ann has recently morphed herself into a professional pokerplayer and a successfull publishing entrepreneur. She has started a new poker enthusiasts magazine (www.toppairmagazine.com). After her scandalous book about what goes on inside the Playboy Mansion made thousands throw up in their mouths, shes pretty much now been frozen out of the adult empire. I heard the whole story, and it is as interesting as it sounds. Kinda like a car crash, you really wanna look but dont want anyone to see you doing it.

Miss Ashe loves to name drop, so we heard about her partying with Snoop Dog, her naked rendezvous with Pam Anderson at Cannes, and Carmen Electra's outrageous behaviors, and all that kind of jazz. Jamie is the most gregarious person I've ever met. She's 34, single, lives in LA, parties like a rock star and doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs or anything else most in that lifestyle do. She has a penchant for plastic surgery and extremely small skirts. Her boobs are her not-so-secret weapon and she's not afraid to use them to her advantage. She's one of those people who can control a room in a matter of 3 minutes and it's often literally by the balls. She also has a PHD in some unpronounceable science and owns one of the most successful entertainment media companies in Hollywood. So im officially impressed.

After delicious dinner (Wood fired Jumbo Sea Scallops and exotic mushrooms) we head over to a private party at TAO hosted by self-created online gambling celebrity Calvin Ayre of Bodog.com. After Jill Ann worked the red carpet photo ops for all they were worth (which wasnt much), and we enter the party. Words really can't describe the over-the-top, outrageousness we found inside. Naked girls body painting each other, girls playing with themselves in bathtubs, geisha, asian hookers, anything you can imagine. After 3 Grey-Goose on the rocks I thought I was seeing things when a troupe of midget ninjas (Im NOT kidding) circled the bar and started throwing out bottles of Cristal champagne, some of which crashed to the floor and broke. There were hooka rooms, bathrooms with self frosting glass, dance floors; it was garish, over the top and wonderful all rolled into one.

Of course you'd expect as many adjectives as possible for a million dollars. That was the parties price tag.