Since severing the agonizing 5 year relationship I found myself in with Mr. Man, I have been meeting guys, dating guys, sleeping with guys, doing all the things 'married' people want to do with someone other than who their with. Dating in Austin is difficult. It's a college town. It breeds an endless supply of 20 somethings who are typically only interested in guys their own age (which is fine with me, not into college boys) . And on the flipside, it breeds an endless supply of 30/40 somethings who allow thier self-esteem/age issues to ravage their better judgement and they only chase the 20 somethings, completely ignoring thier own age group. I've never seen a larger group of people self-select themselves out of their own dating pool. Im consistently amazed at how these guys can rationalize their "dating preferences" and not once think to themselves that it's not a good idea to date someone 1/2 their age who still drinks on his parents dime. Those situations working out are few and far between. Live and learn guys.
I have dated all over the board here. Yes, some 20-somethings..but mostly just for sex. Some 30 somethings and even a 40-something or two. Right now im seeing a 20 something. A 26-something to be exact. He's a law student who was displaced by Hurricane Kartina and is attending UT this semester. He's intelligent, attractive, well adjusted, fun and most importantly totally into me. I have done the obligatory introduction to my friends and recieved their seal of approval. Everything checks out. I enjoy his company tremendously, and am not looking forward to the end of this semester when he will be returnng to whats left of New Orleans to continue his studies at Tulane.
It seems really easy for gay men to become victims of circumstance with regard to their relatinships. 2 career oriented men trying to forge a relationship in the same time and place is difficult. I had this challenge with Mr. Man. We had to come to a mutual decision whos career would take precedent and we made life/relationship decisions based on that outcome. We moved twice (to different states) to accomodate his career. When his career stalled and mine took off, the plan was to start accomodating my career. Unfortunately, when it came down to actually doing that, and a move was in order, he backed down. I dont think he could handle watching me succeed past him professionally. I had job offers from each corner or the globe and he had a hard time getting an interview. The dynamic in our relationship changed dramatically, and in the end, he couldnt handle not being the bread winner. Im sure theres some sort of social-dynamic study in all of this. Gender roles perhaps? Whatever modern psychiatry can do to explain it doesnt alleviate the hurt it caused.
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